Cover photo for c.m.

"you're too skinny, eat more"

c.m.
as far as I can tell,
I've always been skinny.

no amount of rice, or meat, or noodles ever changed that fact.
and that's what it is,
a fact.

I was offended when they accused me of emptying my stomach after every meal,
I was angry when they assumed I was slimming down for a man,
and,
I was close to spilling tears when they asked if my parents were feeding me right.

perhaps the term "naturally skinny" should be an insult,
after all, it was always said with invisible venom,
accompanied by painful distrust in their eyes.

but it's alright.

I'll keep smiling as you scoop another unsought spoonful onto my plate,
I'll keep quiet as you chide me for being ungrateful,
I'll keep checking the numbers just hoping for it to go up,
hoping for the day I can finally be left alone with my body.

but as far as I can tell,
I will always be too skinny.

(30/06/2021)